Pathetic don't read. Go me.

Its amazing how one minute you can be so happy, and the next you want nothing more than to crawl into a hole. Where do I go from here? Does anyone know, because I sure as hell don't. I feel as if I sit in my room every night doing nothing but thinking about how pathetic my life is. And believe me it is. Moorhead is stupid and motherfucking cold. Fargo isn't much better, plus its in North Dakota. Concordia is great, but that's about the extent of what I like in this wasteland of snow, floods, and nothingness. Why don't I transfer you may ask. Because I honsetly could not deal with the added stress. Why am I so lonely? I have friends to be with here. I feel like such a douche. Spending the evening with my russian prof and classmates...not a good idea. Roza is fucking lonely. Lives alone in a four person apartment, no friends except us. Which is sad in and of itself. Yet here I sit, continuing to piss and moan about the shittiness of my life. She probablt wants to go home even more than I do. I wish I could take her home with us for Christmas, but we litterally could not sustain her. She hardly eats...which makes me feel like a cow. Goddamm.

Here's what I need. True Blood Season 3 to focus on relationships which I seem incapable of finding. Lost Season 6 to have something more ridiculous to busy my mind than fucking school. Christmas so I can lay in my bed with no one to bother be as I wallow in my own patheticness. And finally some fucking alcohol for obvious reasons. Will any of this come soon enough? Of course not. Talk to yall laters.

Kirsten

Its After Midnight...

I'm tired and I'm lonely. I wish it could be Halloween every day. I would dress up as someone differentt each day, and have fun. I would be happy...so not me. But Halloween is over and for the next 364 days I'm me again. What shall I do? Keeping on my present course is definitly not a thing I wish to do.

Anyone ever notice how old habits really do die hard? My whole life I've reacted to certain situations in the same manner...the same unhealthy manner. I can't help myself...and I dont understand what's wrong with me. I do I surround myself with people prettier and smarter and better than me? I know that sounds terrible and shallow of me, but it is what it is. And it's true. I'm here in the corner, the best friend who tags along. Why cant I be the leading lady in my own story...it doesn't seem right.

Oh yeah...remember how a the beginning of the year I thought it was gonna be totally sweet to basically have my own dorm? I lied. It blows. Thought I would let you all know.

Love Kirsten.

Blog 2.

So I should be working on my english paper comparing Maggie Tulliver to Heidi Holland of The Mill on the Floss and The Heidi Chronicles respectivly. But I want a break to talk about something that bothers me.

Twilight does not equate to literature.

It's cute, and it's entertaining...but thats about it.

The characters are incredibly onesided. Bella...christ...really? Can anyone say "author insertion?" If I had the audacity to create a character like her I would be flamed and harrassed until she was killed off. Mary Sue, hello! Not so pretty girl has all the attention and everyone loves her. Shes always in danger, but always saved in the nick of time but the crazy hot vampire.

Vampire...another thing! Sunlight makes campire either A) combust, B) shrivel up and die, or C) die in some other horrible manner. NOT GLITTER, can anyone say deus ex machina?? Come on way to destroy a vampire's one weakness Stephanie Meyer. Bram Stoker would be rolling in his grave and I don't know about Anne Rice. But I have way more respect for her.

And to all you people that told me I was gay and goth because I liked reading about vampires, fuck you. You're reading these candy ass "novels" and youre so fucking cool. Ok...I'll be done, have a nice day. Much Love, Kirsten

Blog 1.

All right then...my first blog. I don't really expect anyone to read this, but hey I need somewhere to write stuff, so whatever...

There are 10.5 days left for me here in Moorhead, 5.5 days of classes left, and 2 days of finals. I can do this, so I;m not too concerned. Its when I go home, that I'm concerned about. I'm excited and all, of course. I miss my family and my friends, and I'm excited to see them. But there is so much drama I know will be waiting for me.

I thought when I graduated I would leave it all behind and be able to start over here at college. I obviously thought wrong. Everything I left behind will be waiting for me. I'm going to miss all my friends here at school, and I already miss my rugby girls. I'm a better person here, I know it. I'm afraid everything will be fucked for me.

Let's see, what else...well I'm dieting...again. Shock me, shock me, shock me! Let's see if it lasts this time. By the way, its irritating as hell when girls half my size say they are huge...dumb shits. Hmmm...I think I've complained enought for today. Much love Kirsten.